As I continue to strive to be the woman I dream to be, I sometimes find myself in conflict with who I used to be, who I am and the woman I’m striving to become. Along the way, like every human being, I have had life experiences, some good and some bad, but nevertheless I have experienced them.
Some of those experiences whether good or bad, had a long lasting effect on me that at times, caused me to have a bit of regret.
I know, I know, you shouldn’t have regret, but I do. For example, when I was younger, people used to always talk about me negatively. They would talk about my hair, my looks, my singing and everything else they could find to talk about. So as I grew older, I developed low self-esteem and allowed my low self-esteem to stop me from doing a lot of the things I wanted to do in life because I didn’t think I was good enough.
Now as an adult, I look back on all the opportunities I missed out on because I allowed those negative experiences to affect me.
Even as I strive to be an author and motivational speaker, my low self-esteem can sometimes act as a barrier to my success because again, I question,” Am I even good enough”? I even find myself questioning whether my heart and soul is really in it or if this is really for me, even though I know the passion is there.
That is when I realize that doubt may be coming from a place of fear and a place where I underestimate my worth because for far too long this is where I lived and operated from.
Although, I shouldn’t have allowed that, it happened, so now what? Well, ultimately it is up to me to undue the many years of hurt, pain and feelings of worthlessness that I allowed myself to experience because unfortunately those who caused this pain moved on with their lives.
I know it’s not going to be easy because a lot of my experiences happened during my developmental years when I was trying to find out who I was but got lost in who people thought I was. I started to believe and take on other people’s perception of me because I couldn’t look in the mirror and see who I really was.
I could only see who they thought I was because those negative perceptions are what seemed to be the first thing I saw.
Nevertheless, the first step to change is realizing, but with change, not only do you have to realize, you have to change you mentality too, so that your behaviors can follow.
Through my content and my story, my hope is that I fight through that low self esteem to become the STRONG WOMAN I am deep within.
I realize that by stepping outside of your comfort zone, it allows you to use the strength, you failed to believe you had all along.
Through those times of doubt and uncertainty, I encourage you to seek peace and strength, especially when you experience low self esteem.
Trust, I know how it feels to battle through low self esteem while trying to be great. It is TOUGH. However WE CAN DO IT!!!!
Reflection of the day: How do you combat feelings of low self esteem when you are trying to accomplish a goal?
Verlisa is a writer who has a passion for encouraging others through her story.
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