How you gone win, when you ain’t right within?
Was the question Lauryn Hill posed on her song, Doo Wop(That Thing) as she dropped a little knowledge on the ladies and fellas.
Have you ever thought about how accurate that question is in the determination of your success and your well-being? I can definitely say that now as I embark on my journey to becoming an author and motivational speaker, I’ve found that not only have I questioned my ability to motivate others when I’m broken inside, but a few others have as well. I’ve had a few close people in my life question my mental health status and ability to motivate others while I’m battling my own issues.
They didn't do this because to insinuate that I was too crazy to help others, but to help me see that my mental health was important too. At first, I was offended by the question, especially when the question was posed during a heated discussion between my aunt and I, but after coming to a calm state of my mind, I realized that maybe that question wasn’t so far fetched. Maybe that was a reality that I needed to hear and a question I needed to reflect on because I realized that how I felt inside also affected me, no matter how much I tried to hide it.
So after being posed with this question and not really knowing how to answer it, I went home and I thought and I cried and I thought some more about some of the things my aunt said. That is when I took a step back from working on my book, writing on my blog and doing anything that pertained to this book. I mean, I had to really take the time to think about how I was going to motivate others when I was suffering through hurt, pain, anger, bitterness and a host of other emotions. That question was one of those questions that I hated to be asked, but it was a very valid question, even though I failed to see that in the moment.
Although, sometimes I find myself unconsciously being conflicted between wanting to motivate people but feeling hopeless because my shit ain’t right. Even though I try to fight those feelings and avoid dealing with them head own, I realize that I really should have be tending to them, so that I could grow and move past those negative feelings within. I just do what’s normal and sweep it under the rug thinking I am strong enough to not let what I am going through affect my brand and the woman I’m trying to be. However, when the question, “How you gone win when you ain’t right within” pops in my mind, I realize how much mental health, stress, depression and trauma can keep me from being able to fully give back to others. You can’t pour into others when you’re half empty and near E, you can try, but any little thing can knock you off your square when you ain’t right within.
Coming to the realization that I needed to take a step back from my book was a mix of good and bad where it was good that I was taking a step back to gather my thoughts as they were all over the place, it was bad that I became so discouraged by all the wrong things that I was at apoint where I wanted to quit on all my dreams. I wanted to quit on the amount of money that I invested in getting this book going, although not a lot, it was still a sacrifice. I wanted to quit on the amount of time I spent on writing over 65,000 words. I wanted to quit on all the research and advice I had gotten to get to this point.
I could have made the choice to completely let go and let all my hard work fade away, but I chose to look within and continue looking within as I’m not perfect and I have my flaws, but learning to work through them is the key to overcoming the hurt and pain within. It won’t happen overnight and no one else can heal for you, but YOU. Tend to working on you and motivating self every day because you can’t win if you ain’t right with in....
Do you believe that it’s important for you to work on your inner self before motivating others to work on them?