The Black Women’s Plight: She wants to protect and love herself, yet she’s conflicted between protecting her man and protecting self because she’s been taught this is the only way to be loved by a man. She wants to live up to that “down ass chick” position because those are the expectations of her. Or if she doesn’t, she risks not being loved. Or if she doesn’t, she somehow loves him less and doesn’t get his back.
The Black Woman's Plight is loving and not being loved. Giving and not being given to. Fighting when she is the only one in the ring. Trying to fix when she is already broken. Trying to heal when she is not healed. Protecting and not being protected. Caring when no one else seems to. Going through the pain and enduring the hurt to uphold that, “I’m a strong black woman who can get through anything, I’ll be fine” demeanor.
Feeling the need to protect her man is an ideology that she learned through experience and modeled relationships around her. Being taught that if she doesn’t protect his feelings, his freedom, his reputation, his name, and his position, she’s “just another bitch, he can’t trust.” So she must compromise her well-being at all costs.
Even though, the love, respect, trust, and loyalty that she needs to feel secure and protected is conditioned on whether she successfully goes through hell and back with a smile, while still holding things down that continue to weigh her down.
This black woman’s plight is something that not only I’ve witnessed other black women struggle with, but I’ve had my share of struggles with this as well. I've protected someone else's safety and well being when I didn't receive that same regard and felt obligated to do it.
I stand with black women because I know this shit is hard living in the life of a black woman striving to grow, learn, love and be loved when the world thinks you are the least expected to experience love and life without heartache, struggle, and pain that comes from so many different angles. We are still likely to be like the ”other woman,” act like the ”next woman,” when we aren’t given the same respect and regard as those ”other women.”
So how does she have anything left for self? How does she still stand strong and not fall? How does she still function when she's been through so much? It's The Black Woman’s Plight!
If you are a black woman reading this on today, I continue to pray for your emotional and spiritual strength. Feel free to share your struggles today as we all are going through some shit that we just gotta fight through. Keep your head up. #selfchecksunday#blackblogger#lisareneespeaks #SoulfulSunday#protectyasanity#blackgirlstruggles
Verlisa is a writer who has a passion for encouraging others through her story.
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