Have you ever wanted something so bad, but it felt so unobtainable in the moment? My question is, Why did you feel that it was so unobtainable?
Well, that’s how I felt as I drove through the beautiful neighborhoods of Hobart, Indiana. This neighborhood was filled with beautiful homes that housed people who look nothing like me and vice-versa.
Crazy part is these people were in their homes enjoying their life, not knowing a little black girl was riding through their neighborhood praising their beautiful homes, wondering how I could I obtain a life as such.
I just sat back in the passenger seat and admired what I felt like I’d only experience riding through. I tried not to think that way because I knew the power of God and I was a witness of watching a young woman’s life transform right before her eyes, in a matter of a year.
You wathced Cardi B glow up from a stripper to a millionaire. So, yes with hard work, resilience, faith, determination and hope, I could be inside of one of those beautiful homes instead of the one on the outside just admiring. That is why I try to fight those negative thoughts that tell me, “You’ll never be good enough, you’ll, never make it and, you’ll never have that house” by working towards my goals of building a brand.
Now, working towards my goals to build my brand isn’t just about getting that beautiful house and material things that come along with it, it’s about the legacy and change I could create within not only myself, but in others lives as well.
To be honest, riding through those neighborhoods where I knew that the majority of those homeowners were white people who obviously had not a care in the world because life was struggle free for them, money wise, made me feel how I felt attending a university surrounded by people who I knew were more well off than I was. However, we were still in the same institution working towards the same goal to graduate.
I felt less than, inferior and pessimistic because I knew that a young, black girl from the hood would ever have the same opportunities or resources as my white counterparts because of external barriers set in place to prevent me from doing so.
Yes, I could work hard like I have always been and it may take more time. I believe that if I stick by my faith and my brand, I will get what God has in store for me. Even if it won’t be easy and I’ll face many challenges and obstacles along the way because of the color of my skin and background experiences, I do believe that what God has for me is for me!!! However, much more would be required of me than my limited mentality and usual behaviors, which sometimes keeps me believing that I don’t deserve those beautiful houses or that I’ll never be a successful businesswoman. I guess because I can’t recall seeing anyone in my family or my neighborhood living the life I envision, which is beyond just working a job and surviving, so some things seemed less obtainable.
If I am being honest, it is hard opening up to the world about my inner thoughts and feelings because usually that’s where the most rawest, purest and honest feelings live. We can’t fake our inner feelings, we can only hide them. However, those feelings will continue to fester and eat you up inside and affect how you move.
At any rate, I want to encourage those reading this to get in tune with your feelings as you experience them because they reveal a lot about how you process things in life.
Lastly, be easy on yourself, especially when it feels like things aren’t going the way you think it should or you doubt your own greatness. Yea, you will experience moments where you feel things seem unobtainable, even though you are working hard and it feels like the harder you work, the more you struggle. You gotta keep the faith and know that somebody was in a worst position than you, but came up out that situation to be bigger than those she or he looked up to when they were just the person riding through admiring their home...
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Verlisa is a writer who has a passion for encouraging others through her story.
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